Refining Gold

The last few days have been very nice and relaxing. During this time of rest and rejuvenating, God has been working in my life in powerful ways. After our sleepover/ movie night at the Reagan's on Tuesday night, we woke up and had equipping time and breakfast in Roberts kitchen. We studied John chapter 2 and also the spiritual discipline of "burning for God". This is the chapter in John where Jesus clears the temple and also where he turns water into wine. As we do with every chapter, we read it, watched a clip that reenacted the chapter, then discussed. I don't think I've ever so intensely studied Jesus actions and discussed the background of it all so indepth. Robert also showed us this form of meditation that puts you INTO the Bible story so that you can feel the emotions and concerns of the situation. For instance we imagined that we were a young child sitting at the market with our grandpa who was selling goods when Jesus walks in and starts knocking over tables and pulls a whip out. We then put ourselves in the shoes of Jesus and tried to imagine his feelings and thoughts entering the temple. Today while studying chapter 3 we talked a lot about baptism and the difference between baptism with water and baptism with the Holy Spirit. Robert does such a great job of not just imparting knowledge but encouraging in depth conversation. I don't know that I ever been so excited to study the Bible before. As I mentioned we discussed the spiritual discipline 'burning for God' yesterday and today we studied 'meditation'. We talked about the on going battle of God pulling us closer but us being unknowingly resistant. The resistance can come from guilt, sin, regret, distractions, lack of trust or many other things. A Scripture that really has impacted me recently is 1st Peter 1:7. This scripture has really put the last year in better perspective for me. Robert shared wisdom of this scripture by explaining the metaphor of refining gold and how it related to us. Just as a Goldsmith refines gold by putting under a flame so that all the impurities rise to the top and they can be cut away; we are refined because being in God's powerful presence bring our impurities and struggles out in the open so that God can remove them from our lives. This is a great image to describe what I experienced at the house boat. I was in Gods presence and all of these struggles, wounds and questions rose to the surface. The last few days I have continued to feel God refining me, and can I say, it's not always fun. Its kinda painful to look your struggles and wounds in the face. In the past, my solution is to hide all the impurities and pretend like they aren't there but unfortunately that leaves this big gap between me and God and a unspoken wound that only grows deeper. I've had a lot self realization and recognition of who I am during this time. It is kind of over whelming when you see everything that you need to improve in your life but as I'm learning i realize this is just part of my walk with Christ. He breaks us down to make us strong. Just like Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:10, "For when I am weak then I am strong". So I'm recognizing that I'm weak and I still have a lot of healing but I am very convicted that God is healing me and refining me in His own time.

Just an update of whats going on. We started teaching English classes yesterday where college students can sign up for an hour session twice a week. We will be doing these English classes every afternoon after equipping time. Every night we do something different but always just hanging out with the Thai students here. Last night we had this amazing candlelight, quiet worship (where we got to sing worship songs, in English...yay!!) that was so powerful. Then we went to "night Bizarre" which are just the shops downtown that are tons of fun. I love getting to know all of the Thai people here at the Zone. They are so welcoming and accepting of all of us. It is hard to communicate sometimes because some of them speak very little English, and we speak VERY LITTLE Thai. A lot of times we just hang out downstairs, sing, talk, play ping pong or other random stuff. I really am loving it here! Tomorrow two new interns come, Jordan and Emily, who are coming for just a couple weeks AND the Aggies get here tomorrow too!! Which I am SO excited about! It is going to be a crazy and busy week with them, but i know it will be amazing. Blessings to you all!

The pictures are of movie night at the Reagans, breakfast the next morning, Melanie and I drinking our 7-11 slurpies (all the portions are smaller here, even the drinks!), candlelight devo(the flash makes it too bright), and our new purses that we got at Night Bizarre for only $3!!