I’m sitting by this large pond in the middle of this huge and crazy busy city, Bangkok. It is so wonderful to get away from people and this busyness of life and just spend some time being quiet. I find that this is when God talks to me the most. Maybe it’s not that He’s talking to me more, maybe I’m just actually listening to Him. I began to think about this past year and how it has truly been the hardest year of my life. Between my last two grandparents passing away and some major personal issues, it has been almost unbearable. All I can say is that I wouldn’t have made it through the past year with out Jesus. As cliché as that sounds, it’s true. The poem “Footprints” has never meant so much to me than it does now. Some times when I felt like God wasn’t there; I realized that he was actually carrying me through it all. And what is even more amazing is that he taught me so much through it all. God is truly amazing. (On a side note I would like to say that my family and close friends have been wonderful, and they also helped ENOURMOUS amounts this past year…love y’all!)
As I sit here in this park trying to focus on God and searching for words to speak to Him, I’m at a loss. So I just sit here, sit in his presence. After awhile the song “In His Presence” just pops into my head and I find myself starting to sing in the middle of this park. I love worshiping God through song, especially when I can’t find words on my own. Song after song kept flowing out of my mouth, so I sat there in the middle of Bangkok…singing. People nearby must have thought I was crazy. Being in God’s presence can just be so difficult sometimes. God being with us isn’t hard, because He always is, but us accepting and recognizing His presence can be so difficult. I decided that this would be my goal for the summer, practicing is presence. It was hard to feel His presence in pain and it’s even hard to feel His presence when everything’s is great but I want to feel his presence in everything. Being more aware of God and his presence helps me to accomplish three main things.
As I sit here in this park trying to focus on God and searching for words to speak to Him, I’m at a loss. So I just sit here, sit in his presence. After awhile the song “In His Presence” just pops into my head and I find myself starting to sing in the middle of this park. I love worshiping God through song, especially when I can’t find words on my own. Song after song kept flowing out of my mouth, so I sat there in the middle of Bangkok…singing. People nearby must have thought I was crazy. Being in God’s presence can just be so difficult sometimes. God being with us isn’t hard, because He always is, but us accepting and recognizing His presence can be so difficult. I decided that this would be my goal for the summer, practicing is presence. It was hard to feel His presence in pain and it’s even hard to feel His presence when everything’s is great but I want to feel his presence in everything. Being more aware of God and his presence helps me to accomplish three main things.
- Focus better. I feel like I am so easily distracted even ADD at times. I can hardly say a prayer without something distracting me. Random things come to mind such as friends, boys, worries, the future, and much much more. For instance right now I am VERY distracted by this crocodile sized lizard that is swimming towards me…although I think I am more freaked out than anything. (See picture above)
- Be still. I really want to learn to be still with God. I want to find God’s peace and never let go. I also feel like we become still when we stop worrying and fully trust in God. The past year has taught me a lot about trust and now I don’t worry as much because I know God is taking care of me and my life.
- Love more. This is important to me because, well, it is Christ’s greatest commandment. Also my favorite bible verse in 1 John 3:12 “No one has ever seen God, but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us”. Many people here in Thailand have not just “not seen God” but they haven’t even heard of Him. I love that is says “if we love one another God lives in us and His love is made complete in us”. Wow. That is so powerful. I pray that they Thai people can see God in me and see His perfect love.
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